I always wanted....

by Beth


I always wanted to hold time, to be a part of it, instead of conforming to it.
I always wished that when other people were running around, hurrying to school or work; taking drastic measures not to be late, I could just twist the fingers on the clock around, set it back just an hour or two at least, and maybe that way I could fit in everything I wanted to do.
You see, I never wanted to just sit in a classroom, doing work. I could never settle for it, never would.
I wanted to spin in circles in the meadow, dance under the stars at night. Roll in the sand on the beach.. and dream. I never had time to dream.

Fear

by Sam Antha

The wind shatters like a million
shards of glass
against my face
It blows everything i felt was okay
away
Time pauses
I step through the shadow of blood
as if nothing happened
and its all done
I look in the mirror
as time begins to swirl
like a living nightmare
my toes curl
The cuts run deep in my veins
and the shadows of the past dance in my brain
The scars
you cannot see
because I hide them deep
inside of me
But the pain can still be triggered,
even the slightest pull
brings the past back
and it burns even worse than before
It feels as though
everything
is fading like a swirl
of smoke
as the curling ends fade against me
threatening to pull me in
There is nothing to grasp
because my strength is hidden
and my fear is growing too fast
I'm in another time
it feels like I'm losing my mind
I'm down an empty road,
it calls my name
and I know
this is my life
and I
must make my own way
And even when it feels like
this
the past and future
trembling my lips
The fear almost seems
impassable
But all you have to fear
is fear itself
the rest you can
fight
yourself