If You Really Knew Me

by Nightlock Belle

If you really knew me you would see
I am free.
Though I tend to be a loner,
Some call it anti-social,
I'm never truly alone.
The God who created the Universe,
His Son/ My brother,
And the Spirit born of his Passion are with me.
You can't see them maybe, but they're here.
My name's not widely recognized but I was born of love within their eyes.
The eyes of the unseen ones above and below and the eyes of my parents.
Mine are still together though so many are apart.
I love knowing both my Father's hearts.
I love to write and read times three, sometimes music is my only company.
Whether I'm thrust towards the mic, or hiding backstage, I don't care.
I just came to play.
But you couldn't see that
If you didn't know me.

People who don't know me think that that girl doesn't have any problems,
She looks so fine, head held high, mettin eyes, and smiling that sweet little grin........
Little do they know it's all pretend.
Sometimes all I'm doing is hiding my tears.
'Cause I'll never fit in, never fully reside, nor does anyone really see my eyes.
Otherwise you'd know I'm not fine.
How can you know what you can't see?
You don't even know me.

65 roses, a pretty name for such a sucky disease.
I hate people saying "Oh my G**"
Don't they what they say? What it means at all?
...................... Do they even care?
I already know the answer would be No.
I care. I don't say it, I'd manage to offend someone somewhere and confrontation isn't my skill, but I care.
He made you, has your name tattooed on his hand.
He left his Son to die, forsaken on the tree for you and me.
He loves us with a love beyond measure.
How can you turn around and diss his treasure?
'Cause that's what everyone is, precious beyond measure.
A most sacred treasure.

Those around me can be super mean,
I isolate so I can hide.
Friends haven't been able to get what we had back,
it was little more than shattered glass.
My heart was shattered glass.
Glass then thrown in my face as they laughed.
No one helps me rise when I fall.
Ugly is something you don't need to hear, screamed loud for everyone to hear.
Fakness I despise, coming to take innocence. My own isn't there anymore.
Silence is the only noise I hear.
But eyes are windows to the soul, or so I'm told.
A single glance can do damage untold.

*Reject, Failure freak.*
Here I find hatred and envy,
here lies ignorance and prejudice.
Where sweet ends and cold indifference begin. Not a person, a THING with vocal cords.
Right in front of you I scream.
............................................................Did you hear it?
The bloody shriek of murder in your ear?
Resounding through every open space?
I have to hide behind your mask. Is that fair? Is it right?
No, but does anyone care enough to show me the light. This a dark night, and there are wolves prowling.
I've been thrown there often enough. Someone is going to again.

I've overshot my time. The round is up.
I'll leave you with one last question. Relax, it could've been several. Not that any of you have read to the end. If you have, congrats. Unless you skipped and then you're lame. Not ready to see the face in the mirror behind you. Yeah, I'm there. The tall, quiet girl with shoulder length brown hair and the hazel eyes.

This is a Q that demands an answer.
If you hate to, do it anyway. I don't like doing my treatments and being called a freak, and no one stops either of them.
Be honest. Not like I'll ever know. Not really.
Here's the question:
Do you really know me,
or am I stranger to you still?
If I'm a stranger, then I'll be on my way. Adios, Au revoir, all that jazz. I'll brush by you without another word.
So tell me if you dare, who can look me in eye and see the brokeness inside.
I'd like to know it too.
Now this is truly........................ Good bye.

(soundtrack: Rumors by Lindsey Lohan)