Alexandria White

by Ivy

Prologue

I was always the imaginative one. I had always wondered, what if the butterflies I saw in the meadow were really tiny fairies, hiding in disguise? What if the trees that were shaped
into an arch, what if they were really a portal to another land? What if the snake holes I saw in
the ground were really full of talking mice, or chipmunks? And what if the dragonflies that swirled around the folds of my skirts were pixies playing their foolish games? My mother let me wonder these things.
I would walk up to her bedside in the morning, when I was a child, and I would tell her all the marvelous things I had dreamt of, and she would listen. Then she would make me breakfast, and she would ask me questions about them. My Father did not ask me questions. My Mother was in bed with a cold, and I would go to my Father and tell him what I have dreamed, but before I could finish, or even close to finish, he interrupted me. "silly!" He said in his strong voice. "that could never happen, come to reality girl!" his firm voice rang through the halls.
"but Daddy, Can't I-" I tried to speak, but was always interrupted.
"your Mother is ill Alexandria, it would be wise to leave everyone alone. And your foolish nonsense too."I looked at him with my eyes shining with tears. He was my father wasn't he? I knew he was busy, but Fathers weren't supposed to be like that! "yes Daddy." I said. I left the drawing I was so proud of on his desk. It was a fairy, and I had taken hours to finish it. Maybe when he saw what a good job I did he would understand.
"what is this?" he said. He crumpled it up and tossed it into the trash. "get your head out of the clouds girl, we have a life to live! And try calling me Father, it may be a step closer to what a proper young lady would do." I couldn't hold the tears any longer. I rushed up to my Mothers room, and saw her in the bed with her nightdress on.
"oh Mother!" I cried into her lap. "why doesn't Daddy think the way you do?" I remembered what he had said to me downstairs and I cried harder. My Mother gaining her strength, rubbed my back, and stroked my hair.
"oh Alexandria, what did he say this time?" She asked, her gentle voice already calming me down. I told her the story, and she listened. The best thing in the world she could have done, was listening.
"Alexie," she said sweetly. "why must you always believe what he says?" I almost felt more tears running down my cheeks, was she scolding me?
"it does not matter what anyone else says, when you believe it, you make it real." My face lit up.
"really Mamma?" I asked, "really?" She smiled, and stroked my face.
"yes dear. You are in charge of your own mind, and you will take orders from no one." I smiled brighter and climbed on the bed.
"I love you, my beautiful girl." she said smiling. "I'll always love you." I giggled,
"I love you too Mamma, you know that.
"yes I do, now scuttle off to bed." She held my hands and looked into my eyes. I gave her a big hug, and a kiss on the forehead. "I love you Mamma." I whispered.

It has been 10 years since the day my Mother died. I am 15 now, and it seems like I am the only one who hasn't gotten over it completely yet. All I hear is, comb your hair, lift your head, tighten your corset, pull up your sunbonnet, push your shoulders back, but they don't know how hard it is to be a proper young lady, when all you can think about is your Mother and how you will never see her again. It has been ten years, and I still did not forget her last words to me. I love you, my beautiful girl. I like to believe she knew it was coming, that she was ready for it, but I shall never know. I still sit on her favorite bench in the garden, and I still dream of magical things. Father still does not accept them, yet I do not tell them to him anymore. I still have the old fairy drawing I scavenged from my Fathers garbage can, and I am still Alexandria White.