February 26, 2011

And the award goes to...

Click HERE to see some of the funniest "Smartest Person Award" acceptance speeches ever written.

Wanna see some of the samples?

*walks on stage*
"Hello, my friends! Good day to each and every one of you! You may recognize me as the girl who, several posts up, took the award for smartest person in the world. Well, the judges have decided that I'm just SO smart that I need another one of these awards. I admit, I chuckle in your faces as I think of the jealousy you foolish, primitive apes must be feeling in your internal organs right now! But it is cruel of me to gloat over another's misfortune and stupidity, so I cease chuckling, and will console you instead. I apologize for your stupidity. There. Consolation time is over. I would like to thank my father, for inserting the car into my mother's garage that made my life possible. I thank my mother for taking my infantile body and keeping it safe inside her stomach. I would like to thank my best friend, Addie, who helped me cheat- I mean, helped me STUDY my facts. And finally, I would like to thank my wonderful, large brain and promise it that it will always have a home inside my skull. Cheese bless you all."
*falls off stage*

(by Luna the Vampire)

Me: *Leaps onto stage and grabs microphone*
"Because of my supreme and amazingly dazzling brilliance I know this mic is on, and therefore do not need to ask, "is this thing on?"."
Person in audience: "What? The microphone isn't on! We can't hear you."
Me: *Ignores person*
"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I am excruciatingly pleased to let you know about this glorious and romantic title which I am now the eager wearer of..... I am Chloe: THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!"
Person in audience: "Well, she obviously didn't take vocab or evil laughing class."
Me: I shalt not take this title-
*falls off stage*
Person in Audience: Wow.

(by the kid formerly known as Chloe)

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